The Rebel

The Rebel

Perhaps the lover is the outlaw in ourselves

 we don't quite have the nerve to claim.

– Rosemary Sullivan

The first time I saw water more vast than Superior, water morevast than my town, water migrating more intensely than my father workedI learned that God was real.The first time I saw trees that had endured generations, trees thatextended to Venus, trees that grew slower than a turtle crawlsI learned that God made things bigger than me.The first time I saw a mother give life, the mother thoroughbred naked in the field,my mother screaming and pushing, screaming and pushing in room 409,I learned that God made us with purpose.When I first saw you my cells rumbled, the surface of my skin reached for air,my internal organs grabbed my bones for stability, you asked me for—of all things—directions and I loved you instantly.I guess opposites do attract, because you certainly defied my beliefs. It was not my intentionto confront the convictions that reared me; I had always been taught to follow my heart.And if I seemed lost forgive me—I never learned in school what to do once I met you.After this climactic turn in my journey to knowledge I searched for more natural signsof the Divine to restore my mind: Water. Tree. Thoroughbred.Instead, I found myself seeing God in your eyes, your hands, your heart—proof I had chosen a love not given but made.